I can never find any staff to talk to …


My Dad is dying in a xxxxxxxx hospital. He is coherent and has mental capacity but has gone tightlipped and not talking. Four weeks ago he was at home caring for himself and now diagnosed with terminal illness and it is a shock to us. He fell at home and we found this out in hospital. He is not eating, we are told he is not fit enough to have chemo, he is on pick-me-up drinks. We are told he hasn’t a lot of time left.

I can never find anyone to talk to me on this ward, when I am worried and have questions, we are not told anything and now they want to discharge him. I am so confused, and don’t know where to get information, if he is ill shouldn’t he be staying in hospital not being discharged to, they say, a care home?

My friend’s mum is in a home in mid-Essex and she has been black and blue when he has visited her and another home she was in Clacton, he walked in and saw a nurse screaming in her face.  All this worries you, about going into these places.

We are also worried about information about finances, that they will take his house, why should he go into a care home?

My relative asked for information during visiting hours and was told no-one was available last night to see her. That the consultant would ring her today, up until now no-one has rung.

I met Katie Warren in a shopping centre, she told me about PALS, advocacy, social team workers in the hospital, no-one told me any of this. Later today I phoned the hospital after speaking with her, and spoke to a social worker who said no case has been referred to them about Dad and I have to have permission from him. I haven’t been able to find out for a month information about what is happening. I phoned back and spoke to the receptionist and asked about an advocate in the hospital, she said she didn’t know about any advocacy in the hospital. She said ring the ward. I did this and was told the person I needed to speak with was on a break or unavailable. I complained and asked to speak with the Chief Executive, I am so worried.

Eventually a sister from the ward called me and apologised over and over again. She said what I was told on the phone, that she was on duty and that she was busy and so couldn’t talk to me, was wrong, she was not on duty. She said she will speak to the discharge people and ring me back. She said when I was told that a consultant on the ward would ring me back, this was wrong, there was no consultant on the ward at the time. She said she agrees with me that old people get a bad deal and there is nothing they can do about it.

I said to her that there was a situation on the ward every night I was there the last few days, I am not going to say here what it was, but nurses/staff were swarming around giggling and taking photos and I was standing at the nurses desk with no information and no one even took any notice of me waiting.

There was also a man in this ward with a colostomy bag and he was waiting over 1 hour for someone to come and empty it after he asked, and was told someone would come and do it, she didn’t come back, he was left and when I left the ward this still wasn’t done. Another man was waiting for an operation and he had had no information, he just left and had had no food still at 11.00pm at night, he said I am going to sign myself out of here because no-one had told him what was happening.

I was in for a one hour or so visit this evening and I watched all this happening in this time.


Things That Need Improving:

  1. Lack of communication and consultation with the family about what is happening with my Dad's condition and care.
  2. Don't know what is the best discharge situation for my Dad, but don't have the information to make that decision.




Date Experience Happened