Frankly, they do not care  … …
My mother, aged early sixties, has dementia and is now in a care home.  My family and I can empathise with anyone currently affected by these issues.  my advice for anyone who thinks they or their relative may have dementia:  DO NOT SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR GP OR SOCIAL SERVICES AND DEFINITELY NOT THE CMHT /PSYCHIATRISTS-THEY WILL NOT HELP, THEY WILL MAKE MATTERS WORSE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE.  FRANKLY ,THEY DO NOT CARE!??
RE CARE HOMES: For now I just want to say that in my opinion, the treatment is deplorable by and large -you pay peanuts to staff you get monkeys?  It’s not just about training and tick box exercises,  staff should be paid well, it should be seen as a valuable service and career not just an entry level job, which lets face it doesn’t always buy you the best.  (I have done care work myself so I feel justified in making that comment, I’m not having a go at all care workers, but definitely some).  However, staff should be hired on their demonstrable levels of empathy, care, passion for the the work rather than an nvq.
I also lived near (sort of on the grounds) of a well known care home , that charges a huge weekly fee to stay there and, bearing in mind libel and slander rules, have felt obliged to put people off by telling them what I have seen and it falls well short of care, when they have mentioned putting their relative there.  I did call the environmental health and the care quality commission about it and they did act, to some extent. 
My other point for now is that once people receive a diagnosis (don’t even get me started on that point) or enter a home, they are effectively stripped of all the rights, privileges and dignities the rest of us would expect and usually have access to.  I contacted, via a fairly lengthy descriptive letter, around 20 care homes and offered my services as a counsellor to the residents (and their family).  Zero response or reply.  I did this twice.  Clearly the mangers think ‘activities’ should be limited to bingo and tea and coffee.  That’s disgraceful, at that time in someone’s life I know they have just as many, if not more, difficult feelings, which counselling could help with.  (I have counselled a number of people up to 93yrs old, not living in care homes, who have really benefitted, which is why I thought I would offer to make counselling accessible to those in a care home by bringing the service to them.   Can’t seem to get past the managers. 






Date Experience Happened



Residential Care Home